hi, i’m nicolee.
i’m not really sure how to introduce myself without making it sound like i’m writing an application for something, so i’ll just start with the things that feel most like me.
i’m someone who spends way too much time thinking about little things. movies i’ve watched years ago, songs that remind me of a specific afternoon, a picture i saved on Pinterest because i liked the colours, an idea for a video that suddenly appeared in my head at midnight, a blog layout i want to change for the fifteenth time…
i think that’s probably the best way to describe me: i’m very attached to little things.
i like collecting them.
not necessarily physical things, either. sometimes it’s a photograph, sometimes it’s a sentence, sometimes it’s a character from a movie, sometimes it’s an aesthetic, sometimes it’s simply a feeling i don’t know how to explain.
that’s probably why i made this blog.
i wanted somewhere to put all those little pieces instead of leaving them scattered around different apps and notebooks.
this is my little corner of the internet. it’s not supposed to be perfect, professional or particularly impressive. i just want it to feel like mine.
movies — The cinema is one of my favorite places because it’s where I spend a big part of my time, and somehow, it has become my safe place!! Watching movies is something I really enjoy, and there are some films that have even become a part of my everyday life, like Thirteen and Girl, Interrupted.
Well… there’s actually a pretty long story behind all of this that I’ll tell you guys once I feel a little more comfortable and have gained some trust hahah…
the internet — The internet is a place that brings me a lot of peace and comfort. It’s somewhere I can say whatever I want without constantly feeling judged by the people around me. I can express the things I like, the things I’m passionate about, the kind of music I listen to, my interests, my thoughts, and, most importantly, who I really am.
Pinterest and Tumblr are definitely my favorite apps, especially Tumblr. I feel like Tumblr is one of the few places where I can actually find people who understand me and share the same interests, without having to explain myself all the time. I can write about my everyday life, share random thoughts, discover new music, find pictures that represent how I feel, and just be myself.
Sometimes, the internet feels more like home than real life does. I know that might sound a little strange, but online I don’t feel like I have to change myself to fit in or worry about what people are going to think of me. I can be as weird, emotional, creative, or passionate as I want, and there’s always someone somewhere who gets it.
I love having a little corner of the internet that feels like it belongs to me. It’s a place where I can discover new things, get inspired, express myself, and feel understood. Maybe that’s why I spend so much time there because, for a moment, I can stop worrying about how I’m perceived and just be me. ♡
writing — Something I’m honestly embarrassed to admit is that I feel lonely. And I don’t mean lonely because I don’t have a boyfriend, because I do. I mean lonely when it comes to friendships.
I only have like four online friends, and even then, sometimes I feel like they don’t really care about me or pay much attention to me. At least, that’s how it feels. Honestly, I don’t think any of them truly understand me, and sometimes that makes me feel even lonelier.
I live in Spain, and it’s already summer, but I haven’t gone out of my house a single day. There are so many things going on inside my head all the time, and I don’t really know how to explain them or who to talk to about them. Sometimes I just feel like I’m surrounded by people but still completely alone.
That’s probably why I started writing everything down. I have a digital diary where I write about pretty much everything that goes through my mind — random thoughts, feelings, things that happen during the day, things I’m too scared or embarrassed to say out loud… basically everything.
I think writing helps me get some of it out of my head instead of keeping everything bottled up. And, honestly, I also feel a little safer knowing that my family is less likely to find it there. :) It’s like having a tiny private corner where I can finally be completely honest with myself.
pretty things — I think pretty things are everywhere, you just have to pay enough attention to notice them.
I love little things that probably seem insignificant to other people. the sky when it turns pink before sunset, the sound of rain against my window, finding a song that feels like it was written for me, old photographs, handwritten notes, pretty buildings, flowers growing in random places, the smell of books, late-night conversations, fairy lights, cute cafés, and the feeling of being wrapped in a blanket while watching a movie.
I love collecting little memories too. Taking pictures of random moments, keeping screenshots of things that make me laugh, saving pretty pictures on Pinterest, finding a new favorite song, or writing down something that happened during the day just because I don’t want to forget it.
Maybe I’m a little too sentimental, but I think the smallest things can make life feel special. There’s something beautiful about having your own little collection of things, places, songs, people and memories that make you feel safe and happy.
And maybe that’s what “pretty things” really means to me. not just things that look beautiful, but things that make life feel a little more beautiful. ♡
music — Music has always been something really important to me. I don’t just listen to songs because I like how they sound — I associate them with people, places, memories, feelings, and specific moments in my life. Sometimes I can hear a song I haven’t listened to in months and suddenly remember exactly what I was doing, where I was, or how I felt when I first heard it.
I think that’s one of the most beautiful things about music. It can turn an ordinary moment into a memory. A song can remind you of a summer, a certain person, a late night, a place you used to love, or even a version of yourself that doesn’t exist anymore.
My favorite artists are especially Lana Del Rey and Lizzy Grant. I love the way their music feels nostalgic and almost cinematic, like every song belongs to a different little universe. There’s something about their music that makes me feel understood, especially when I’m feeling emotional or lost in my own thoughts.
Music is kind of my way of romanticizing life. I can put my headphones on, walk around, look out the window, and suddenly everything feels like a scene from a movie. Even when nothing particularly interesting is happening, music makes me feel like there is.
I think some songs will always belong to certain versions of me. And maybe that’s why I’m so attached to them — because when I listen to them again, I get to meet those versions of myself one more time. ♡
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